Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I'm a dude. 

No, not anatomically. I fuck like the female that I am, and I'm very good at it, thank you. 

What I mean to say is, in many of my mannerisms and preferences, likes and dislikes— I resemble America's stereotypical GUY more than the Standard American White Girl. (for reference see twitter, @shitgirlssay)  

In the bedroom, I'd rather not spend an epically long time screwing around. I don't need to have 5 orgasms to have a good time. I like when a partner takes his time to really make me happy, but I don't like when he keeps hammering away just because fucking for a long time implies a super-stamina. I'm not really impressed. I'd be more impressed if whoever I'm sleeping with could read between the lines on my forehead and let sex be over when it's over, instead of going in for number 3, 4, 5, just to say he can. Let's just have wonderful, loving (or rough and passionate) sex and leave it at that, even if that means we're only naked for half an hour. 

I don't want to cuddle all evening. I'm affectionate, and I like nudges and snuggles and kisses, a lot. However, I don't like to feel smothered or trapped, and when the choice comes down to riding my bike all afternoon or cuddling on the couch with a movie..I'm sorry, but I might need to leave you and Blu-Ray alone. 

I'd rather have a job outside in the dirt than inside at a desk; the fact that I'd rather not put on a frilly blouse and a girly skirt is not the least important reason for this preference. 

I'd rather drink beer than a cosmopolitan. 

I'd rather spend an evening at a baseball game than watching Glee. 

I hate wearing skirts. I like jeans, and I like men's sweaters. I wear Old Spice. 

None of this is to say that I am not also feminine, of course. I just laugh about these things; many of my friends are men, and yet I find sometimes that I'm the one wearing a traditionally male-associated stoicism.

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