Thursday, April 12, 2012

i know that a little bit of detachment is a good thing.

remove the addiction to things or people or habits or places, and maybe we become better acquainted with ourselves. maybe we are left with the room to notice how we really think and feel, and what elements of life and the world are important, and which don't actually change the weave or fabric of existence. I am generally a fan of finding out what really drives us, as humans- the basic needs beyond those of the body. probably, short of food and air and water, the things that nourish the spirit are more important than anything else we might feed upon.

that said, i do not agree with the idea that the best or freest way a human can be is completely removed from all desire or attachment. i am convinced that even in a buddhist (or existential) world, wherein nothing matters, THINGS MATTER. not TV things or cookware things or cellphone things or clean lawn things or even diploma things or paycheck things, but PEOPLE things, and THINGS THAT MAKE US TRULY HAPPY, like long bike rides and being in the sunshine or tasting something wonderful or writing a good story. these things matter. they matter at their least tangible level- the way they make us FEEL (so perhaps least physically but most spiritually tangible). these things matter. the people i love, the activities i love- they matter.

so when people practice detachment to the extent that they are unmoved by, or easily remove themselves from, the spiritual weight of and emotional connection to things like friends, lovers, family, beloved hobbies (or the fulfillment derived therefrom), it makes me mad. there's something to be said for forgetting about cars and computers and even from plans with friends or dates with lovers, but to forget about the friends and lovers themselves? to float along like "the Stranger," as though we're underwater, separated from meaning like the air that keeps us living? that fucking sucks. it makes me mad.

i don't know what's right, but i know that while i don't pretend that shit like objects makes any sort of difference at the end of the day, people and the activities i love to do DO make a difference. detachment might be healthy, sort of, but it depends. chris matters, and john matters, and mom and annie and dad and even tom matter, and stephanie and marta and running and riding and writing and reading and cooking all matter. and for fuck's sake, no, my body isn't going to die if these things go away...but my spirit will, a little. that said, i don't think that detachment is the answer, and i'd rather run the risk of losing it all than cutting it all out.

No comments: