Notorious am I for canceling plans just before they materialize. I try not to make it routine, but pulling my name from the roster right before the party starts is not an uncommon occurrence. I've pissed people off time and time again, suddenly absent at social liftoff, after a share of enthusiasm that seemed, undeniably, to confirm my intended appearance. My tendency to bow out a second ahead of the curtain call has earned me a reputation- I'm anxious, I'm flakey, I'm simply annoying- or I'm so scarce, I'm invisible.
I deny nothing.
I am a pain in the ass when it comes to making plans, but at least I'm honest about it. I make sure that whoever may be trying to set a play date with me knows that I often decide, often last-minute, to play by myself. The friends who understand- the ones who are also introverts, hermits, depressed young adults- give me a break, and they're the friends I still have around. Everyone else eventually learns to accept me as I am, or gives up trying. I can't blame those folks. Like I said- I retract my company preemptively so often that my absence is more the norm than my presence.
Thus, I begin this mini-segment of Vagrant as a Cloud: dubbed Bail-Blog (in rhyming reference to Fail Blog), it pokes lighthearted fun at the instances in which I, yes, bail on social interaction.
Tonight's bail-out? An unimaginative (albeit truthful) excuse of a stomachache and low mood extracted me from not one but two prior engagements; not that either one was unsavory, just that I found myself buried in a hooded sweatshirt drinking hot cocoa and eating apple slices, and I really didn't have the get-up-and-go to put on a nice face and go drinking. Not to mention, I don't think my belly can handle the bourbon tonight.
So- apologies to John and David! I'm a flake, but tonight I come by it honestly. My stomach is killing me, and while I count both of these men amongst my dearest Cleveland friends, I really just want to be inside and cozy this evening.